Mark Brown
One of the first things I taught my children when they started to drive a car was to never ignore the “check engine” light on the dashboard of their car. I told them to pull over immediately if that light came on while they were driving. If they did not, the car could be ruined.
Negative emotions or what I like to call difficult emotions are just like that check engine light. The emotions we feel are like lights on the dashboard of our lives trying to bring attention to us about what is going on in our lives. Yet for so many years I have tried to ignore them. Many reasons exist for not being aware of difficult emotions. One reason that is easily solved is to grow in your awareness of difficult emotions. Brene´ Brown in her book Atlas of the Heart, reports that in a study on emotions, the average person experiences just three: happy, sad, and angry. In her very insightful book, she describes eighty-seven emotions and experiences.
The growth that I have personally experienced in cultivating a greater awareness of my difficult emotions has been significant. I have been able to regulate my emotions more consistently. I have lived a more integrated life embracing the good parts and bad parts. I have grown in connecting more deeply with people whom I really care about.
Action Step: Follow the link below to download the feelings wheel and once this week ask these questions: What difficult and positive emotion am I feeling? After identifying two emotions, then ask “I wonder why I feel that way?” Allow yourself space to feel these two emotions and be curious about them.
If you are really motivated, download the free app Mood-Log, which you can program to record your emotions when prompted throughout your day.
